April 11, 2010

  • one.

    This morning felt unreal: a lonely ending to a perfect weekend.  I keep swearing that one day, these goodbyes will stop, but it's wishful thinking, isn't it?  Life pulls us all in different directions.  I'm watching it happen, even as I think to myself that I'll keep fighting it until I'm dead.  It's only saying goodbye to them that hurts quite like this.

    It started with Thursday.  I woke up excited and nervous, the way I always am when I know that She's coming.  I'm always somehow afraid that everything's going to go wrong and She's going to hate me, although I know it won't happen.  But if there's anybody that I'm afraid of losing, it's Her.  :| .  I scribbled off a badly-written e-mail in Spanish, letting my professor know that I wouldn't be there for class and asking him to let me read In the Name of Salome for my final project.  I don't know if I'm allowed; he still hasn't answered.  And then I trekked off to Statistics to learn about the frustrating science of the mathematics of making claims about groups of people.  To be honest, I have a better jive with statistics than I do with any other type of math;  this stuff makes a tiny bit of sense to me.  It's still math though, and math is frustrating.  After that, I rushed to Microbiology lab and finished some cultures and lab sheets and then Rephe and I sat down on a pavement block in front of Blount and stared keenly into every car that passed, watching for Kao's face.  Brittany came and talked to us for a while, then.  It seemed that she was planning to have her sisters come over for the weekend.  I'm not sure whether I miss hanging out with her or not, yet.  There are things about her that I'm sure I'll never miss: super girlishness, shallow taste in men, superlove for pink, the tendency to forcefully sap everybody's attention.. but she's incredibly supportive and actually a lot of fun to have around.  At this point, I'm really avoiding being in the dorm more than her.  That place feels like a prison, ever since they added stricter rules and began enforcing them.  I'm supposed to see an agent tomorrow about taking a look at some apartments, so that I can get out of there.

    As I was sitting there, I asked Rephe to dance for me.  Time always seems to elongate when you're waiting for something, and the distortion was getting to my head.  I needed something to distract me.  Being a great boyfriend, he obliged, and I was quite distracted.. to the point that I missed them driving by.  x_x  Dal snuck up behind me, and said that they'd driven right by my face. 

    They followed us to Rephe's place, where we'd laid out all of their Christmas/ birthday presents, and we sat down and started awkwardly opening gifts.  Dal was charged with the task of recording the eleven minute long process of unwrapping Teshie's present (he happened to be missing this trip due to his being in Disney World, lucky bastage).  I think that he could wrap things sufficiently to survive an a-bomb.  This particular present, which turned out to be Super Mario Bros [wii!], was wrapped in two different styles of wrapping paper, toilet paper, saran wrap, aluminum foil, and looooots of tape.  ...Several layers of each.  At least.  The worst part was, after nine minutes of unwrapping, finally being able to see the present through a particularly thick layer of saran wrap and being unable to rip the last layer off.  Despite the frustration, I was very happy.  I've been eyeballing that game for quite some time.  Dally and co. had also brought me an adorable mushroom pin, lip gloss, fuzzy socks [+ aloe], Luminous Arc 2-- another game that I've reaaally wanted to play, but couldn't seem to get, a giant wolfie, Kao's botan rice candy... It was an awesome Christmas.  ^_^.  That makes two of the most perfect, joy-inducing Christmases in a row.  Incidentally, I like the way that Dal opens board games-- and now that I'm reminded, I'm sad that I forgot about Cranium.  I wish we would have played... I've played Cranium with many groups of people and (I would have predicted it this way) I've never had as much fun as I do with them.

    That night, Rephe made a super-delicious meal for us and we watched JJ play God of War into the night.  We also took a trip to Wal*Mart for groceries and started playing Mario.  Repe and I were hilariously bad at it.  We must have killed each other almost as much as we died on our own, and we had the absolute worst luck getting items from the mushroom houses.  But there was a lot of laughter involved, so it must have been fun. 

    [  ]

    I woke up the next morning to a room filled with friends.  It was a cheerful thought.  But I had something to finish; the school won't let me register for classes until I've finished getting all of my vaccines, and only a pediatrician or the Health Department could administer a Varicella vaccine.  Everybody jumped in my car and walked across campus with me and perched outside while I was drilled by a lady who was skeptical about every ounce of my medical history, and then I was subjected to needles and burning sensations.  I limped away with a sore arm about a half hour later.  We decided to go to the mall.  Of course, our first stop was bubble tea.  They were out of my usual flavor, so I tried strawberry lychee.  It's my new favorite.  We walked over to express, where Dal bought us matching dresses so that when we went to Ginza, we would look amazing together.  We actually tried on a couple, and I've firmly decided that Dally looks good in everything.  Also, I'm frustrated that they now carry size 00, just two years after I needed that size.  It's incredible how many sizes I've gone up.

    We left Express toting a big bag of dress and walked through the lego store, and then stopped and deliberated for a very long time about which ring to use as our engagement rings.  It had come down to a white star ring, red hearts, or a classic engagement ring style.  It's probably obvious which one I was rooting for.  The lady that was helping us insisted that the red hearts looked the best on me, and I thought they looked the best on Dally, too.  We deliberated for so long that JJ and Rephe left to meander about, and Kao was stuck being the opinion guy.  We decided on red.  I don't have a very good record so far, as I've only worn the ring one of three days that I've had it, but I plan to wear it every day, except when I'm doing clinicals and I'm not allowed to wear jewelry.

    I'm not sure that they'd believe me if I told them it was an engagement ring, as it's red and not a diamond, but I've decided to try to tell them anyway and see if they'll let me get away with it.  ^_^

    We spun home so that Dal and I could get dressed for our Ginza date.  I got to help her get ready, by making her wear jewelry that matched mine, and glitter.  We looked absolutely adorable and I am not at all embarrassed about matching my best friend in public.  XD.  Also, I'm proud of the fact that even though we didn't have directions, we found the place just fine, and no soy sauce bottles were broken during this visit.  The food was amazing, as always.  The sushi took a lot longer than our gal-bi to make.. I was done with my food before I ever got to taste a volcano roll.  That place always feels like a date, whether I'm with a giant group of friends or with one person, and it always reminds me of Kalinesti.  I'm glad I got to be there with them again.

    We went home after that and wound down with games. 

    [ ]

    ...Which continued on into the next day.  We had plans to go to the gardens and take pictures, but everybody was feeling lazy at that point (and anyway, we didn't get up until well into the day).  In the end, we ended up sitting in front of the television, slaughtering each other inadvertently in Mario all day... and watching J.J. play God of War.  Kao cooked some amazing philly cheese steak, and I got to snuggle with Dally for a while.  We stayed up all night, until Dally told Kao that she was going to pack.  Shortly after that, Rephe and I were standing outside in the warm spring night, my face alternately buried in his chest and watching their car pull out, and I was wondering whether I should cry, or go sleep.  I settled for a little bit of both.

    I miss them incredibly already.

    It's hard to explain why they're my best friends, after all this time and distance.  They just are.  The way that I am is different around them.  They're different.  I just never seem to be able to miss anybody else the way that I miss them, or be so recklessly me around anybody else.  It's those important things that can't be put into words that mean the most to me.  They're always going to be that thing for me. 

    Well, I've got a prince to keep me standing until the summer.  I love you, Rephe.

    I love you guys so so much.